Never say love
by Stripes93
Summary: Mathew thinks that Alfred doesn't love after he ran off when he told him. But Alfred came back...maybe he does love Mattie...or is Mathew just being stupid?


_'I love you...'_

The Canadian sobbed, knees drawn to his chest as silver tears streaked down his pale cheeks.

_'I...you...what?'_

"Oh God...why...?"

_'I love you, Alfred...'_

Why did he have to go and say that?

_'Oh...'_

_Mathew was pinned against the wall while Alfred ravished his face and neck with kisses, each touch seeming more intimate than the last. The older man's hands went down to his brother's pant and he pressed him against him, earning a small moan in return. "Come on, Mattie. Let's go upstairs." He panted in his ear then began to nibble on it._

"_A-alfred..." Mathew stuttered, trying to keep himself composed as well as he could. "I...we...oooh..." He bit his lip as Alfred began to rub his pants and put little love bites on his neck._

"_Come on, Mattie. We haven't yet. We've been together for three months today. Let's make tonight special." Al whispered against his neck, sending a shiver down the younger one's back. He lifted his head to kiss him, sliding his tongue into Matt's mouth. The younger man felt his head begin to haze over, his mind being taken over by his lust. Finally the two pulled back, each one panting out their desire for the other. He couldn't...not yet at least...he had to hear it._

"_I love you," Mathew whispered. Alfred paused for a moment, shock on his face._

"_I...you...what?"_

"_I love you, Alfred..." It was there, out in the open finally._

"_Oh..." Mathew bit his lip, fearing what he already knew. Alfred wasn't going to say it back...He watched with violet eyes as the older man mumbled out some excuse before leaving out the door, leaving Mathew to fall to the floor with tears brimming in his eyes._

"_Alfred..."_

"Why was I so stupid?" Mathew whispered. It had been two days ago that it happened and he hadn't seen his brother yet, not even a phone call. For all Alfred knew Mathew could be dead...He sobbed louder and curled into a ball, hands pressed against his chest as though that could make the ache go away. He had been stupid to think that Alfred could love him the way Mathew loved him, stupid for even letting the words fall from his lips. Why couldn't he had just kept his mouth shut and had sex with Alfred like he wanted to? Then Alfred would be there...whispering in his ear about how much he cared for Mathew, about how much he would take care of him...but never how much he loved him.

"He never loved me..." Mathew whispered against the lump in his throat. He could see it in Alfred's eyes, even before they had finally made it official. All Alfred wanted was to get into Mathew's pants yet Mathew had faith in his older brother...faith that maybe he could change Alfred's cheating ways-yes, he knew all about Alfred's little sex-capeds with others. He chose to ignore it though, hopping that Alfred would finally see that since he had Mathew the others wouldn't matter anymore. "Of c-course not," The blond boy wiped his nose on his sleeve, finally uncurling himself from his position. Mathew had hopped that one day Alfred would come running and throw his arms around Mattie, telling him how much he loved him before they made passionate sex together. "So stupid..." So, so, stupid...

Mathew sniffled when he heard a knock on the door. He rose gently from his seat on the couch and wiped his eyes, hopping they weren't too red before he answered. He gasped and his eyes widen as Alfred rushed in, pushing Mathew against the wall into a kiss. "Mattie..." He whispered, when he pulled away.

"A-alfred..." Mathew stuttered before his lips were taken over again. There was a fierceness there that Mathew had never felt before, a type of passion that made Mathew's head spin. He wrapped his arms around Alfred's neck as their tongues danced together, fighting for dominance before Alfred won out. Mathew could feel his pulse race as Alfred's hands traveled around his body, as though trying to familiarize himself once more with it.

"Mattie...I'm sorry..." He panted when they pulled away. Sincerity shone in his blue eyes and Mathew wiped away a stray tear.

"Alfred...it's okay..." Mathew assured him, pulling him for a hug.

"No, I walked away and I didn't even...I'm sorry..." Alfred repeated. Mathew pulled back then kissed his brother, softer and sweeter than the previous one.

"It's okay, Alfred. I still love you." He told him quietly and watched Alfred smile.

"I...I feel the same way." Mathew felt his heart swell with emotion, so much he thought it might crack.

"R-really?" He whispered.

"Really," Alfred whispered back, kissing him once again.

He swept the younger boy into his arms and carried him up the stairs bridal style, never breaking their kiss. He opened the door to Mathew's room and slowly lowered the boy onto the bed. Mathew grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him down, smothering his mouth with kisses.

_'He loves me,' _He thought as his shirt was removed. He bit his lip as Alfred trailed kisses down naked chest then gasped as he took one nipple in his mouth and nip it tenderly. "Alfred..." Mattie moaned, gripping his brother's hair. Alfred continued his love bites downward then back up while his hands worked their way down to Mathew's pants, unbuttoning and swiftly removing them. Mathew sighed as some of the pressure on him was released then gasped his member was taken in his brother's grasp.

"Alfred!" He panted out, back arching. Alfred smirked and released him then slid the boy's boxers off, throwing them on the floor with the rest of the discarded clothes items.

The younger blond could feel himself begin to blush as he let Alfred examine his body, feeling more than exposed under his brother's eye. "Don't be embarrassed," Al told him, kissing his neck gently.

"I-i'm not," Mathew stuttered, for some reason feeling the need to defend himself. Alfred laughed quietly and trailed his fingers down Mathew's sides gently, Mattie shivering under the touch.

"Then why are you so red?" Al asked, working on getting his own pants off now-Mathew couldn't even remember when his shirt had came off.

"I-I...I'm hot," Mattie said, looking away from his brother has he slid his pants down. Alfred smiled at him and bent down to his ear, nibbling on his it gently before whispering,

"Things are about to get a lot hotter, Mattie." He gripped at Mathew's length roughly, making the younger boy grip his sheets with a throaty moan. He began to pump and Mathew could feel his world begin to soar with each motion.

"Al...alfre..." He couldn't speak, the only things coming from his lips were moans and gasp of pleasure. The pressure below began to rise and he gripped the sheets tighter, bucking his hips. He closed his eyes..._almost there._..but then Alfred stopped. The Canadian opened his eyes to see his brother smirk at him. The blue-eyed man caressed Mathews thigh's for a moment before sliding his hand down and stuck a finger into his opening. Mathew gasped at the discomfort, his muscles beginning to tighten.

"You have to relax, Mattie. It'll be over soon," Alfred assured him waiting for the younger to heed his command before slipping another finger through. Gently he pushed forward then heard a gasp as he brushed his finger over his brother's prostate. Smiling to himself Alfred removed his fingers then lifted Mathew's legs up positioning himself. "Remember, relax." He said and watched Mathew nod. "You ready?" Another nod and he slowly pushed himself in, Mathew groaning out in discomfort once again. He waited for the boy to adjust before beginning, slow and rhythmic. Mathew moaned lowly then gasped and bucked his hips as Al hit his sweet spot.

"Alfred!" He groaned bucking his hips once again.

The motions began to quicken and Mathew clung to Alfred, digging his nails into his back. "Faster!" He groaned then moaned out loudly when Alfred complied. Again and again Alfred hit that spot and Mathew's vision was beginning to blur. "Al...A...Alfred!" Again and again he called out his brother's name as he exploded from the inside out, clinging to his brother as though his life depended on it. Too soon the euphoric feeling had passed and he lay panting, Alfred collapsing next to him as he finished. Both men lay there, sweat and hair clinging to their bodies. "Alfred," Mathew whispered, rolling over to lay his head on the older man's chest. Al wrapped an arm around him and covered him with the blanket. Mathew suddenly began to feel tired and he shut his eyes, snuggling deeper into his brother's chest. "I love you..." He whispered, beginning to drift off, barely catching what his brother mumbled, a possible 'I love you' back.

Mathew awoke the next day and sat up, wincing at the sharp pain that coursed from the base of his spine. "Ow..." Reaching for his glasses it took a moment for the past night's events to come flying back. "Alfred?" He called looking around. "Alfred...where'd you go...?" Slowly rising from the bed, Mathew limped to the door frame and leaned against it, listening intently for any sound of his brother. "Al-Alfred...?" He whispered, tears beginning to rise to his eyes. "No..." He clung to the frame and shook his head, repeating that one word over and over. "No...no...no..no...NO!" He had been stupid again. So, so stupid...Mathew had said it...but Alfred never did. The words Alfred mumbled last night were not 'I love you' but 'I know...'

The blond dropped to the floor and sobbed loudly, ignoring the pain in his rear. "Why?" He cried out. "Why am I so stupid...?" And last night was just the beginning...Mathew loved him. And even if Alfred didn't love him back...he would come back. Time and time again he would come back for the same repeat performance...and time and time again...Mathew couldn't say no because..."I love you..." he loved him.

* * *

><p><em>AN: I wanted to make something angsty lately and this popped in my head. First sex scene...I don't think I did half bad if I say so myself. Poor Mathew, why did I have to do that to him? For some reason Matt just seemed like the person I wanted to angst don't know why. So, how'd I do? Good? Bad? Horrible? ~Ciao! Love Stripes!_


End file.
